Archive for Reports

The Big News

Hello, hello my friends! How are those summer holidays going?

It’s been busy here on Eilean. Remember that Something I was looking for last time? Well, it’s turned out to be more of a Nothing. Months I spent in Europe, searching through museums and antique shops, but it looks like the Bad Guy got there first. I’m still on the case, paranormal pals, but keep your eyes peeled …

But never mind the Bad Guy, have you heard The Big News? Dani’s book about our adventures has only gone and been shortlisted for the Scottish Children’s Book Awards 2013. Really Weird Removals are moving up in the world!

When I got the phonecall from Edinburgh, I thought those nasty city ghouls had started lifting the tramlines again. Either that or the Floris girls were stuck in another time fold. But it was just those nice folk at the Scottish Book Trust letting me know that this year’s Award has an all-Kelpie shortlist for the Younger Readers category – and our book was one of them!

The RWR team are so proud of Dani and we can’t wait for the Big Reveal in March 2014. I’m having a celebratory sausage and beans in the meanwhile, but with none of Isabella’s parmesan this time!

Send us an email and let us know what you think about The Big News. Maybe all that positive digital energy will send the Bad Guy a message …

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Ps. And to all the boys and girls who’ll be reading about our adventures to pick the winner, remember that Really Weird Removals are here for all your paranormal pest control needs.

Travels Around Europe

Hello hello little paranormal investigators! How are you all?

Sorry about the long silence, I’ve been travelling around Europe’s museums and antique shops looking for Something. Better not tell you that the Something I’m looking for can save our bacon, if the nasty guy I told you about in previous blogs does what he’s planning to do. So it’s bad news and good news. Bad news, we might be in big trouble soon. ‘We’ as in everyone, starting from us lot on Eilean. Good news: I’m on the case. Which is why I’ve been away.

But enough mysteries! I owe Katie a reply to her cry for help. Katie, your puppy, your werepuppy. Having a werepuppy – future werewolf – for a pet has its disadvantages (they eat the furniture and might, in time, eat the postman) and its advantages (nobody will annoy you ever again). But I worry your werepuppy might have a weremummy looking for him. Place your werepuppy outside for one night – don’t worry, it’s perfectly safe. If he’s gone by the morning, his mum has come for him, or he wanted to be free. If he’s still there, he wants to be your pet. In that case, three rules: no human meat, no going out when there’s a full moon, and a bath every second Wednesday (they get terribly messy and smelly too). Hope this answers your question.

I also got an email from a reader from Lewis who wants to be part of Really Weird Removals. I shall not disclose her name because it’s been added to the Secret Paranormal Database (only shared with Mi5 and the Home Office). You’re in our files, reader GHLEW12.

Until next time – and watch your watches…all will be revealed!

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Merry Christmas from the RWR Team

Hello my friends and Merry Christmas!

I’m in Eilean. Yes, I’m home, ready to enjoy Isabella’s cooking. She’s preparing a special sausages and beans dish for my Christmas dinner – she’ll probably put parmesan in it, but I forgive her. Things are pretty calm at the mo, though probably I shouldn’t jinx it. There has been stuff happening down in Ayr, nothing major, mainly brownies going crazy and breaking havoc in people’s homes. Apparently, they had stolen a coffee machine off one of their families – moral of the story is, never mix faery folk and caffeine! But no news about The Bad Guy. You know, the one that time-jumps and made us late for the book launch. I fear I’ll have a lot more to say about him soon…

In the meanwhile, apart from the caffeinated brownies, Christmassy things are going on in the Grant household. Camilla is delivering ghostagrams, Luca and Valentina are in school rehearsing the Christmas service (Valentina will play the fiddle) Isabella is cooking and Duncan… No, he’s not writing, believe it or not. He’s in Glasgow for work, with a shopping list from Isabella as long as his arm.

All is peaceful, all is calm. But for how long?

Any signs of The Bad Guy time-jumping somewhere near you? Write in!
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Really Weird Removals.com Book Launch

Hello hello, a good day indeed! Sorry for taking a while to write a few words about Really Weird Removals’ launch, I was tied up. Literally. Long story, no point in going into it now.

I’m free again and having a beans 99 at the RWR quarters. Some of you might know already that there was a little hiccup at the launch, some guests turned up late: the Floris girls, Dani’s agents Lindsey and Kathryn, and most importantly, the Phantom Dog, Clouseau, was late too. Why, I hear you say? Well, Clouseau was late because he didn’t know what to wear – decisions decisions – he finally went for tweed knickerbockers but by then, Lindsey and Kathryn were already late.

What happened to the Floris girls, I hear you say? They were with me, in my blue van. We were on the motorway, minding our own business, when I got a call. I can’t tell you who it was – I dare not speak his name…no, it’s not that, it’s just that if I write his name he’ll know I know he knows I know it was him. Clear? So anyway, I got a call from Mr Bad Guy, and he scrambled up all the electromagnetic and temporal lines around us. Before we knew it we were in a ditch in the middle of a field. Same place, wrong time.

It took us an hour to find the way back. Chani was jumping up and down, Benedicte was muttering unrepeatable words in Norwegian, and Leah was scoffing all my Halloween sweets. Thankfully I found the way back to our time, and we re-materialised in our blue van. We were so late I had to park in the Waterstones’ staffroom – the staff had their tea in the van’s backseats – but we made it!

By then Dani had finished her speech and she was hyper. She gesticulates a lot, doesn’t she? Bit like Isabella. I got to chat to a few people, and was very pleased with the reactions to the book. I think it must be my looks, I have a book face, everyone tells me.

All in all, a great night. The Bad Guy worries me though. I have this feeling we’ll be hearing more about him soon…

Really Weird Advert

We were talking lately, in RWR HQ, about how wonderful it was that more people are learning about our services through our website BUT we knew we wanted to do more. So, we threw around some ideas — skywriting, giant billboards, but our best idea to make an advert, starring (you guessed it) ME! We pulled out some archive photographs of stone fairies, seamonsters and trolls and put it together with some jazzy special effects. We hope you like it!

Welcome — and a note on Taizu spirits

HELLO HELLO my friends, it’s Alistair Grant here, writing from Shanghai.

Sorry I can’t be there in person for the launch of Really Weird Removals.com, but we have a bit of a situation over here and I won’t be able to attend. These Taizu spirits are pretty stubborn things (and they gave the sorest bites)! Their camouflaging skills are just amazing, from my window I can see one that looks just like a post box. Just as well Luca and Valentina are safe home in Eilean and they didn’t come with me on this one.

Anyway, WELCOME to my blog! Luca, Valentina and myself (with occasional guest posts from Daniela Sacerdoti) will be keeping you informed of our whereabouts and our adventures. If you’d like to be featured on this website, you can email me at sos@reallyweirdremovals.com. You can send us your sightings of supernatural creatures, if you’re lucky enough to have the Sight; tips on how to deal with them; and why not, Really Weird Removals.com fan fiction.

Better go, there’s a Taizu in my fridge and it won’t stay there for long. Isn’t this the life?

Speak soon,